Massage Pants
Inform the Nobel Prize committee, the greatest invention of this decade is here and it is full of awesome – MASSAGE PANTS!
These are massage pants from the Wenzhou Wonderful Massage Equipment Company. What do they do for you? Well I'll tell you, by copy/pasting the product features from the company’s website.
Product Features: * Built-7 group of super vibration massage, a scientific and rational allocation * Ring far infrared heaters, automatic temperature control, safe and reliable *A variety of massage * Automatic mode * Automatic regularly work 20 minutes * High-performance rechargeable batteries for exclusive use, energy, security
You know, just looking at them I could tell they had a scientific and rational allocation of vibration massage. And that makes me really want them even more! Wait a minute – energy AND security? Watch out! Just a heads up though, I don't think these are technically pants. Because pants are usually longer. Much longer – like with legs. These look more like shorts. Shorts that are missing some fabric in the front. Fabric missing from the one place that I would most want fabric. In fact, I might even be charged if I wore these out in public, which I most certainly would. Like every day. They might be nice on a hot summer’s day I guess, so, umm, well- they’ve got that going for them too. Wow, these are even more awesome than I first thought! Unfortunately there's a 500 pair minimum order. Anybody want to go halvsies?
For those who want to get my Christmas shopping done early – go HERE!
In fairness to the original author, I actually found out about these modern-day miracles HERE and borrowed liberally from his site.