Hey - look ... back already! If there is only one rule in the blogosphere - it is this: do NOT steal posts! This rule can never be broken - no exceptions. That being said, ladies and gentlemen I would like to present the following post which I am taking without permission from REGRETFUL MORNING. That being said, I did write it, and as a result I can tell you that it is 99% true. There are in fact two corrections I would like to make:
1) We actually went to the party from high school, not work, where I was recounting the story at the time.
2) In retrospect, I'm not 100% convince that the word 'cock' actually appeared on my cheek. (Please don't let me show up on Google under this) - but it was either another less vulgar term for it - or it was insinuated by arrow alone)
Anyway, less talk, more rock - on with the story ...
Name: Canucklehead
Age: 18(ish) at the time
I should preface by saying that due to a extended ‘wild period’ in my life - I have way too many regretful mornings. I’ve chose this one at random but I hope you’ll enjoy it…
I was 18 years old (this was 20 years ago - youch!) and one of the girls in high school announced that her parents were going away for the weekend. It was going to be a kegger! So, needless to say, my crew headed over right after work and a total of about 15 of us started hitting the beer. Of course, at this age our excitement was MUCH greater than our tolerance for alcohol. Anyway, there was a lot of hook-ups, throw-ups and passouts - all the tell-tale signs of a successful high school party. I passed out myself and woke up at about five in the morning on the kitchen floor. I was SO hungover and sore that all I wanted to do was to get home to my own bed.
There were two problems:
1) The house I was at was on the opposite side of town, about 4 miles away.
2) I had not a cent on me - I was broke!
Anyway, I found my shoes and started the long, slow trek home. Well, about 1/2 way home I had a couple of cops in a paddy-wagon pull over to start questioning me. Not wanting to get this girls parents in trouble, I told the cops that I had been ‘in the park’ as it was painfully evident that I was still half hammered.
The cops thought this was very amusing and after some laughter, agreed to give me a ride home, in the front seat with them, no fine - have a good day.
I got home I crashed into my own bed where I remained until noon. It was not until I got up later that I realized my friends had taken a few liberties the night before when I was passed out. You see, I was in FULL makeup, eyeliner, blush, rouge - you name it. The highlight being the arrow to my mouth with a note on my cheek saying ‘insert cock here.’
Yeah, no wonder the cops had a chuckle … The story? Sad but true.
