Something To Crow About
BEHOLD! The Golden Cock of Excellence!
(CLICK FOR ENGORGED AND EMBIGGENED AWESOMENESS)
I’ve been lucky enough to get a few awards but this is by far the biggest honour to date. Pretty sweet! I am so pumped at winning the Golden Cock Award — which is presented only to a select deserving few by the inestimable Lord Likely, Aristocratic Adventurer and Gentle-man of Action. This is a blog that I have read and loved for a LONG time. In the words of the Sir Likely himself:
Sir Canucklehead: just as his fellow Canadian countrymen remain loyal to the Queen, Sir Canucklehead remains loyal to his lordship, a fact which has not gone unnoticed. Jolly good work, eh?
The Golden Cock of Excellence (or 'The Golden Cock of Excellence', for short – Sir Likely does not care much for abbreviations and acronyms) was created by his wondrous brain-matter last year, as a way to reward his loyal readers, commentators and indeed anyone who had displayed some sort of love (with or without utensils) towards his lordship or my journals. Since its introduction, the Golden Cock has become an extremely sought-after award, overshadowing much inferior trinkets such as The Victoria Cross and the Knighthood. This comes as no surprise, of course, as not only is my award much more handsome than any other, but it can also be slipped into any orifice for added pleasure, a feat which cannot be replicated by the Victoria Cross without shredding one's intimate areas to shreds. And so, with this history firmly behind us, we must thrust onwards and upwards, and move on to the details of the awards ceremony itself, where the finely-crafted phalluses were handed out.
The award was presented to 11 very talented and well-known bloggers, which luckily included my friend Relax Max, as he is the only person I know who owns the necessary time machine required to attend. You see, Lord Likely transcribes his blog from the year 1857 – actually, it’s hard to explain – go see his site for yourself. Anyway, to the big moment itself:
The crowd thundered with applause as yours truly (drunk on time-travel and beer) was showered in love, adoration and a fair number of ladies’ undergarments. It was a moment I will truly never forget. My words of acceptance were appropriately brief as I took my new shiny and freshly-polished cock in hand: “Thank you m'lord - once again your cock has left me slack jawed in amazement! I cannot wait to proudly erect it over at my place for the world to see. It truly is a thing of beauty! Cheers!”
Much drinking, carousing and merry-making followed and I’m afraid it’s a bit of a blur. I do remember getting a little lost on the way home, somewhere in the 1950's where we enjoyed chocolate malts and french-fried potatos. As well, at my request we briefly stopped off in the late 1980s and early 1990s to cancel some bets I had made on the Buffalo Bills to win the Superbowl. Anyway, thanks again to Lord Likely – stop by and see if you cannot get a cock of your own! Cheers!
PS - ON A TOTALLY UNRELATED NOTE, FOR THOSE OF YOU STILL READING, MY FRIEND HELLOKIT OF CONFOOZLED IN HAVING A CONTEST TO CELEBRATE HER 300TH POST - HEAD ON OVER, THE PRIZES ARE GREAT!
